Hold onto those spontaneous moments with your loved ones, they are the ones you will remember always.

My seventeen year old son hugged me this evening. I was cooking Spaghetti alla Puttanesca and listening to Abba on the stereo when the Seventeen year old gave me a hug, out of the blue. I was taken by surprise. He was perusing something on the internet as I boogied away while cooking and slaughtering the song with my unsympathetic vocal chords. All of a sudden, he came over and gave me a hug. I was totally but pleasantly surprised. Here was my first born, seventeen years old and independent, hugging me. It was like he was a 7 year old again, when hugs were a normal part of a mother-son relationship. I must say that I was taken aback but really pleased at the same time. Hugs from the teenage son are seldom, but when they happen you know that they are from the heart, and they mean more than I can put down in writing. Here was this man-child (more man than child), all 6 foot 3 inches tall, hugging his Mum; it made my day (and made me feel small!).

Quite often I struggle to understand the teenage brain. One day you are laughing with them, the next they are grunting at you and treating you like you are chopped liver. They are a constant reminder of how young you no longer are, and quite often how out of touch with ‘life as they know it’ you are. Their mood swings, in many ways, become yours. For the times when they like you (or you think they like you, because sometimes it is hard to know when it comes to teenage children) you forget that you are technically middle aged and think that you are still hip, because you seem to be communicating with them-like you are on the same wavelength as them. They share their TikTok videos with you, or Instagram posts that are a little out there. You laugh with them and begin to think that you are still young, that teenagehood hasn’t long long gone, and your twenties, well they were a long time ago too but you have momentarily forgotten that because your teenager has included you in their world…. for a moment. And then that moment passes, usually in an instant, and again you are held in contempt because you put your mother hat back on and remind them and yourself that you are no longer a teenager but their parent, and parent you must, regardless of how much they seem to hate you for it. Then they go back to grunting at you and treating you like you are the enemy because you insist on rules. It is a reminder of the time when you were the teenager and out of all your friends, it was your parents who were so mean that they wouldn’t let you do what the hell you wanted.

Teenagers remind you that your life can not be viewed through the lens of Instagram or TikTok or any of those social media platforms that really are designed for the young. They remind you that this part of your life has passed, and that your life now has different responsibilities and meanings. They are a reminder that regardless of the fact, you have to act like an adult even if you don’t want to. It does not mean that you have to stop having fun, or being true to yourself though. Life does not end because your boobs starts to sag, or you have developed a beer belly. It does not mean the end because you are no longer a slave to every single fashion trend going, or that you no longer spend hours in front of the mirror before you go out in public. Instead, life evolves. You have your own ideas of what is cool, what makes you happy. You don’t have to fade into the background because you are no longer under thirty, you just need to find what makes you tick, what makes you happy. My teenage son’s simple but honest and loving hug reminded me of this; growing up is an ever-evolving experience; confusing at times but a wonderful experience too. I hope that he gets the chance to ponder this as I have tonight.