I celebrated my 48th birthday last month. I woke up on the morning of my birthday closer to 50 than 45, no longer in my mid forties, now my late forties and hurtling towards 50. Eeek, shouldn’t it worry me that I am now definitely in the middle age bracket? Possibly. But it doesn’t really. It makes me think that I am incredibly lucky to reach this age, and I hope like hell that 50 comes and goes and I can double that age in time to come. Gosh, reading over that makes me sound extremely grounded, and I guess that in a way I am. You see, after a minor health scare at the end of last year I came to the conclusion that life really is precious, and it is a privilege to grow older. My health scare came about as a result of a mammogram. What I thought would be a routine check up, maybe a bit of discomfort, turned into a return visit for a biopsy and a three week agony as I awaited my results (right smack bang in the middle of Christmas when everything closes for the break). Luckily, I got the all clear but the waiting gave me time to reflect on life. Yes that sounds cliched, death is staring you in the face so you evaluate life. But it’s what I did. It made me realise that sitting around moaning about life and what was not going right was not getting me anywhere. It was time to take the bull by the horns and live life the way I wanted, time was not going to wait for me. I didn’t feel scared or worried, I saw no point in going into too much emotional turmoil when the chances were that it would be all ok-which of course it was. So I spent my New Year’s eve celebrating getting this far in life and I decided I would continue to celebrate my continued success of reaching another birthday.
Of course, getting the all clear made it all seem a little less frantic but living shouldn’t be as a result of a poor medical prognosis. So, I was all guns blazing, I decided I was going to be like those inspirational quotes, like those articles you read in magazines where people give up their jobs, sell their houses and follow their dreams. Hang on a minute, stop the press. I had forgotten one rather major factor which potentially was going to put a spanner in the works-my family. I couldn’t just up sticks and go and live on a deserted island and live off mangoes and coconuts if the whim manifested in that way, I had a husband with an actual job, children with exams to take and school to attend, bills to pay, and chooks. Upping sticks and avoiding responsibility was not going to work for me. Who it works for I am not sure. Young, single, no kids or responsibilities me thinks-me in my twenties come to think about it. That time of my life is well and truly over so a rethink was in order, how could I live my life in the best possible way without uprooting my entire family. I realised that life was already pretty much perfect, I had my health, my family, a safe and comfortable place to live, food, blah, blah, blah. You get the drift. I was already living my life, and I realised that I was lucky to get to that stage in life, so I didn’t need to change much, I just needed to get the job I really wanted and learn to be grateful for the good life I already had.
So nearly a year later, have I lived up to my musings of then? For the most part yes, I am still grateful every day that I wake up. Grateful that I am still walking the planet, grateful for my children, grateful for my husband, and the list goes on. Yes my face is showing the signs of getting older, and my body, well it certainly isn’t as it was 20 years ago. But I am here, I am writing, my life for the most part is uncomplicated, long may it continue. Growing up is damn good, or maybe that should read growing older. Whatever it should be, I am doing it . So bring on the rest of my life because I can’t wait!
The Honest Woman's Guide to Growing Up. 