Life as they say, is a roller coaster, or maybe it’s a box of chocolates? Either way you really don’t know what it is going to throw at you at any time. Well, life has proven to be a bit crazy for me in the past few years, and every time when I think that everything is ticking along nicely, even a bit boringly then something comes along to give me a kick in the arse to remind me that yes this is life and sleepwalking through it will ultimately see me getting rudely awakened by some random nightmare. There’s been a few in the past couple of months, some minor and some not so, but I won’t get into those right now-time and place and all that. Today, I was happily sleepwalking, reading some rather in-depth journals for my looming thesis (it’s due in six weeks, hence the lack of blogging lately), I was in the zone and felt like I was in charge. Usually it feels like the thesis is in charge so this was a pretty good feeling, and a pretty rare one too. Anyway, the husband comes home from taking our youngest to his rugby game and he is all action-mowing lawns, collecting hay, and generally being quite useful. Uh oh, it all sounds too good to be true, my study is going well, the jobs are getting done, the sun is shining, the husband is being useful-get the picture? Yep, well it really was too good to be true, I knew it wouldn’t last forever-call me a pessimist but 47 years on this earth has taught me a thing or two, like when things are going well, I mean really well , then the universe dictates that there needs to be a bit of balance so it goes about fucking things up -just to liven things up a bit and wake you out of your slumber! Sorry, excuse my language-but that is the best way to describe how my perfect day was ruined-it was fucked up, the universe dictated it! Anyway, I digress, you are wondering what the heck I am talking about, so far I have told you nothing so let me get to the point.
The husband decided to tidy up the property, which was great-until he discovered the matches… yep those little wooden things with the red tips, they look harmless but in the wrong hands can be lethal!!!!! Anyway, I must remind you if I have not said it already, that we live in a conservation area where the wildlife thrives, kiwi and ruru call at night and many species which have been on the brink of extinction have been given the chance of a second life. It really is paradise, but today it came close to being consigned to the history books thanks to the husband. Now before I go any further, perhaps play the Prodigy song ‘Firestarter’ as background music, it really helps to set the scene. So the husband’s idea of “tidying up” involved lighting a fire to burn the hay which he had collected up. He explained to me his plans, and although I suggested it may not be such a good idea, he proceeded to light the fire- “sure, it will be grand” he said. Well, grand it was not. After an extremely dry summer and autumn, the fire took off, and before I could say “are you sure?”, the bushes were on fire and the fire was spreading fast. Yet he still was telling me it was “grand”, that it was “under control”. I began to doubt this when random people, some strangers, started arriving to help with the “grand” job that was “under control” (thank you to all those wonderful people and neighbours). Now, I must say that my blood pressure was feeling like it was going through the roof and I was seriously doubting that it was “grand” and “under control”. It was when I could see the flames shooting up a tree and I could hear it cracking and popping that I decided that no it was not “grand” or “under control”, and that is when I called the local fire service.
The fire service came and put the fire out and finally it was “grand” and “under control”. The local volunteer fire service that is, the fire service with all the volunteers who are locals who live in our small community. People who know us on a first name basis-yep you can imagine the embarrassment! I will admit that I was quick to let them know that my husband was in sole charge of the “grand” and “under control” fire-he can have the notoriety of nearly burning down the entire peninsular all to himself! A couple of dozen beers dropped off at the fire station will hopefully show them how grateful we are for their help, and I promised them that the husband will never light a fire ever again!!! As for me, I am heading back to the thesis-hopefully life will return to a moderate sleepwalk for a bit longer!
Just one last thing before I become studious again, a big thank you to our local volunteers, they do so much for our communities and probably don’t get the recognition they deserve. They rock!
The Honest Woman's Guide to Growing Up. 