Tag: Health

When You Forget About Limits and Do Something That Scares You.

They say that you should do something that scares you everyday. Well, that is what we discussed in my yoga class yesterday when we arrived to find the configuration of the mats different to usual. One of the yogis suggested this and I wholeheartedly agreed. Stupid me, it seemed such a benign thing to agree with at the time. Little did I know that I was to do something that would completely scare me twenty four hours later at the following yoga class….

Today dawned hot and dry, a blue sky day. I managed a few hours of much needed gardening before it got too hot and then took the kids down to the beach for a boogie board and swim. Much refreshed, I rushed home for a shower, left the teenagers to sort dinner, and trotted off to Thursday night Yoga with the lovely Jac. Life was good I thought as I walked into the calm of the candle lit hall, where once again it was set up differently. Aha, it’s all good I thought, remembering the conversation from the previous evening. I can sit somewhere different to usual, getting out of my comfort zone and doing something other than my usual routine is OK I told myself. I dithered for a bit as I decided where to lay my yoga mat (I am a shocker at making decisions at the best of times), eventually laying it down and sitting crossed legged in anticipation for what has become an integral part of my life. As I have said previously, Yoga has been a game changer for me, it really has changed my life in many ways-physical, spiritual, emotional-it is the whole package. So my time doing yoga is a treasured part of my day.

Anyway, getting back to tonight’s session, this one was out of the box. This one was the one where comfort zones were nowhere to be seen. Sitting there as the room filled up, I smiled at the lady who had made the statement at the previous night’s yoga. I felt smug in the knowledge that I was doing something that scared me by sitting somewhere different. It may not be an adrenaline type of scare but I reassured myself that it didn’t matter. What mattered was that I was out of my comfort zone by being out of my usual routine of choosing the same spot to park my yoga mat. Ha, being smug really doesn’t pay as I was about to find out. As Jac sat down, I readied myself for the session, crossing my legs and straightening my spine. And then, it happens, Jac tells us that we are going to do partner yoga. WHAT? Did I hear that right I think to myself as I frantically look around at everyone looking for reassurance, my eyes bulging. Partner yoga? But my partner is at home, he doesn’t even do yoga, how on earth am I going to partake in this? In fact, looking around, there is only one couple there, the rest of us came alone. Maybe I heard her wrong I think desperately, knowing deep down that there was no mistake in what I heard; I was about to get right outside my comfort zone.

Frantically thinking how I could get out of this ‘partner yoga’ I realised that I couldn’t slip out the door unseen as it is over on the other side of the room. Why oh why did I come tonight, I thought. Why didn’t I let the kids stay at the beach for longer instead of thinking about my own selfish needs. These thoughts whirled around my head as I realised that there really was no way out and I was going to have to take myself outside of my comfort zone and just do it. Partnering up with someone of similar height, we started. I was horrified when she told us we had to sit with our backs against each other and align our breathing. ‘REALLY?’ I screamed inwardly, ‘Why can’t we just do some normal yoga?’ Well, it really did just snowball from that simple pose. ‘Sweet Jesus, how on earth do you think we are going to manage to do that???’ But somehow we managed and by the end of the evening I had draped myself backwards over the back of my partner, and she mine. We linked arms, stretched ourselves through much laughter, although I don’t think you are meant to make that much noise! I worried about squashing her, and thanked God that I had showered after my swim (the shit that goes through my head). Grace and poise went out the window but a sense of accomplishment and calm replaced it-eventually. After the session had finished and my partner and I had hugged and thanked each other, I thanked Jac for pushing me way beyond my comfort zone. I had to admit that I actually enjoyed the session. Some of the moves we did were rather challenging, both mentally and physically, and I never would have thought I would do something like that. But as I am discovering, it’s amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it and let go of your limiting thoughts.

Growing Up or Growing Old

I celebrated my 48th birthday last month. I woke up on the morning of my birthday closer to 50 than 45, no longer in my mid forties, now my late forties and hurtling towards 50. Eeek, shouldn’t it worry me that I am now definitely in the middle age bracket? Possibly. But it doesn’t really. It makes me think that I am incredibly lucky to reach this age, and I hope like hell that 50 comes and goes and I can double that age in time to come. Gosh, reading over that makes me sound extremely grounded, and I guess that in a way I am. You see, after a minor health scare at the end of last year I came to the conclusion that life really is precious, and it is a privilege to grow older. My health scare came about as a result of a mammogram. What I thought would be a routine check up, maybe a bit of discomfort, turned into a return visit for a biopsy and a three week agony as I awaited my results (right smack bang in the middle of Christmas when everything closes for the break). Luckily, I got the all clear but the waiting gave me time to reflect on life. Yes that sounds cliched, death is staring you in the face so you evaluate life. But it’s what I did. It made me realise that sitting around moaning about life and what was not going right was not getting me anywhere. It was time to take the bull by the horns and live life the way I wanted, time was not going to wait for me. I didn’t feel scared or worried, I saw no point in going into too much emotional turmoil when the chances were that it would be all ok-which of course it was. So I spent my New Year’s eve celebrating getting this far in life and I decided I would continue to celebrate my continued success of reaching another birthday.

Of course, getting the all clear made it all seem a little less frantic but living shouldn’t be as a result of a poor medical prognosis. So, I was all guns blazing, I decided I was going to be like those inspirational quotes, like those articles you read in magazines where people give up their jobs, sell their houses and follow their dreams. Hang on a minute, stop the press. I had forgotten one rather major factor which potentially was going to put a spanner in the works-my family. I couldn’t just up sticks and go and live on a deserted island and live off mangoes and coconuts if the whim manifested in that way, I had a husband with an actual job, children with exams to take and school to attend, bills to pay, and chooks. Upping sticks and avoiding responsibility was not going to work for me. Who it works for I am not sure. Young, single, no kids or responsibilities me thinks-me in my twenties come to think about it. That time of my life is well and truly over so a rethink was in order, how could I live my life in the best possible way without uprooting my entire family. I realised that life was already pretty much perfect, I had my health, my family, a safe and comfortable place to live, food, blah, blah, blah. You get the drift. I was already living my life, and I realised that I was lucky to get to that stage in life, so I didn’t need to change much, I just needed to get the job I really wanted and learn to be grateful for the good life I already had.

So nearly a year later, have I lived up to my musings of then? For the most part yes, I am still grateful every day that I wake up. Grateful that I am still walking the planet, grateful for my children, grateful for my husband, and the list goes on. Yes my face is showing the signs of getting older, and my body, well it certainly isn’t as it was 20 years ago. But I am here, I am writing, my life for the most part is uncomplicated, long may it continue. Growing up is damn good, or maybe that should read growing older. Whatever it should be, I am doing it . So bring on the rest of my life because I can’t wait!