I started doing yoga recently, about six months ago. I saw a post on our local Facebook page advertising some new classes and decided it was time I realigned my body and mind. So off I trotted one Monday evening back in July, yoga mat and blanket in hand, to the local hall where the classes were taking place. We were a mixed bunch of eager yogis, all keen to walk out of that class as supple and renewed humans. Well, some of us were already supple but I must admit that I was not one of those people. Sitting down in front of a computer for large parts of the day had rendered me short muscled and extremely inflexible. Never mind, we were told by our instructor Jac to ignore those around us and just concentrate on ourselves, there is apparently no ego on the mat. Well as someone who has spent most of her life trying to not make a fool of herself, this was probably more of a challenge than what my body was about to have to deal with! Having lost my adventurous spirit somewhere along the line, a simple class of yoga was right outside my comfort zone. The thought of getting stuck in a pose filled me with fear and just thinking about it in the lead up to my first class left me in a cold sweat. However, my enthusiasm for turning into one of those instagramable bendy yogis outweighed my fears, so that Monday I found myself in a candle lit, incense infused hall. My preconceived ideas that yoga was all hippies and yoghurt knitters was soon challenged when I met the lovely Jac, she is neither hippy or yoghurt knitter, just someone who oozes an infectious calm aura (if that makes sense, maybe oozes is the wrong word, or aura, but you get the idea). The candles and incense in themselves were soothing and Jac’s welcoming nature added to an atmosphere which suggested I would actually enjoy this “adventure”. God almighty when did I get so uptight that Yoga has become a huge deal? We started quietly, sitting cross legged and very soon were stretching our limbs to beyond our (or my, I can’t really speak for everyone else) perceived limits. I felt a euphoria which I don’t get when I am killing myself at an exercise class (probably because I feel like I am dying). Perhaps this was down to the fact that I didn’t feel like I was dying. Or maybe because my body was contorting in ways I never knew was possible for me. It was probably a good thing that there are no mirrors in that hall because I was in the zone where I truly believed that I looked like those yogis on Instagram, my body was lean and supple and my poses were deep and graceful. Hmmm, experience since that first encounter with Yoga suggests that I more than likely did not look anything like that. The end of the session when my body was in a small state of shock that I was actually sweating from some of the poses-who knew Yoga could make you sweat- we lay down in shavasana. I can honestly say that I have never felt so relaxed in my life, I floated out of that hall at the end of the class. At the time, I was finishing my thesis and my stress levels were pretty high so it was the perfect way to balance that time in my life.
Since then I have been going to yoga regularly, two to three times a week. Not only has it changed the shape of my body (kind of), it has also changed the way I think and react to things. Once upon a time in the not too distant past (probably about six months ago) I would have reacted to negative situations and people in a reactive way. Now, I can sit back and think things through without regretting my words or actions. And I no longer hold onto shit in my head, instead I acknowledge it and put it aside. Once upon a time I would let things eat away at me which never solved anything, it just made me miserable. Yoga has been the catalyst for this new, very grown up behaviour, it has helped me deal with other people’s behaviour too. I know that I have no control over how other people act or what they say about or to me. That is their business and not for me to be getting in a tizz about. I can honestly say that it has changed my life. Yes I sound like some middle aged flake going through a midlife crisis but hey it’s how it is and how I feel and after all, this blog is called the HONEST woman’s guide to growing up. I would like to think that this is a long term, rest of my life behaviour, and I guess time will tell. But at the moment it is how I am, and it all feels very balanced and I will live in the moment and enjoy it because who knows where life will take me.
The Honest Woman's Guide to Growing Up. 