Tag: Yoga

When You Forget About Limits and Do Something That Scares You.

They say that you should do something that scares you everyday. Well, that is what we discussed in my yoga class yesterday when we arrived to find the configuration of the mats different to usual. One of the yogis suggested this and I wholeheartedly agreed. Stupid me, it seemed such a benign thing to agree with at the time. Little did I know that I was to do something that would completely scare me twenty four hours later at the following yoga class….

Today dawned hot and dry, a blue sky day. I managed a few hours of much needed gardening before it got too hot and then took the kids down to the beach for a boogie board and swim. Much refreshed, I rushed home for a shower, left the teenagers to sort dinner, and trotted off to Thursday night Yoga with the lovely Jac. Life was good I thought as I walked into the calm of the candle lit hall, where once again it was set up differently. Aha, it’s all good I thought, remembering the conversation from the previous evening. I can sit somewhere different to usual, getting out of my comfort zone and doing something other than my usual routine is OK I told myself. I dithered for a bit as I decided where to lay my yoga mat (I am a shocker at making decisions at the best of times), eventually laying it down and sitting crossed legged in anticipation for what has become an integral part of my life. As I have said previously, Yoga has been a game changer for me, it really has changed my life in many ways-physical, spiritual, emotional-it is the whole package. So my time doing yoga is a treasured part of my day.

Anyway, getting back to tonight’s session, this one was out of the box. This one was the one where comfort zones were nowhere to be seen. Sitting there as the room filled up, I smiled at the lady who had made the statement at the previous night’s yoga. I felt smug in the knowledge that I was doing something that scared me by sitting somewhere different. It may not be an adrenaline type of scare but I reassured myself that it didn’t matter. What mattered was that I was out of my comfort zone by being out of my usual routine of choosing the same spot to park my yoga mat. Ha, being smug really doesn’t pay as I was about to find out. As Jac sat down, I readied myself for the session, crossing my legs and straightening my spine. And then, it happens, Jac tells us that we are going to do partner yoga. WHAT? Did I hear that right I think to myself as I frantically look around at everyone looking for reassurance, my eyes bulging. Partner yoga? But my partner is at home, he doesn’t even do yoga, how on earth am I going to partake in this? In fact, looking around, there is only one couple there, the rest of us came alone. Maybe I heard her wrong I think desperately, knowing deep down that there was no mistake in what I heard; I was about to get right outside my comfort zone.

Frantically thinking how I could get out of this ‘partner yoga’ I realised that I couldn’t slip out the door unseen as it is over on the other side of the room. Why oh why did I come tonight, I thought. Why didn’t I let the kids stay at the beach for longer instead of thinking about my own selfish needs. These thoughts whirled around my head as I realised that there really was no way out and I was going to have to take myself outside of my comfort zone and just do it. Partnering up with someone of similar height, we started. I was horrified when she told us we had to sit with our backs against each other and align our breathing. ‘REALLY?’ I screamed inwardly, ‘Why can’t we just do some normal yoga?’ Well, it really did just snowball from that simple pose. ‘Sweet Jesus, how on earth do you think we are going to manage to do that???’ But somehow we managed and by the end of the evening I had draped myself backwards over the back of my partner, and she mine. We linked arms, stretched ourselves through much laughter, although I don’t think you are meant to make that much noise! I worried about squashing her, and thanked God that I had showered after my swim (the shit that goes through my head). Grace and poise went out the window but a sense of accomplishment and calm replaced it-eventually. After the session had finished and my partner and I had hugged and thanked each other, I thanked Jac for pushing me way beyond my comfort zone. I had to admit that I actually enjoyed the session. Some of the moves we did were rather challenging, both mentally and physically, and I never would have thought I would do something like that. But as I am discovering, it’s amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it and let go of your limiting thoughts.

Yoga For Beginners

I started doing yoga recently, about six months ago. I saw a post on our local Facebook page advertising some new classes and decided it was time I realigned my body and mind. So off I trotted one Monday evening back in July, yoga mat and blanket in hand, to the local hall where the classes were taking place. We were a mixed bunch of eager yogis, all keen to walk out of that class as supple and renewed humans. Well, some of us were already supple but I must admit that I was not one of those people. Sitting down in front of a computer for large parts of the day had rendered me short muscled and extremely inflexible. Never mind, we were told by our instructor Jac to ignore those around us and just concentrate on ourselves, there is apparently no ego on the mat. Well as someone who has spent most of her life trying to not make a fool of herself, this was probably more of a challenge than what my body was about to have to deal with! Having lost my adventurous spirit somewhere along the line, a simple class of yoga was right outside my comfort zone. The thought of getting stuck in a pose filled me with fear and just thinking about it in the lead up to my first class left me in a cold sweat. However, my enthusiasm for turning into one of those instagramable bendy yogis outweighed my fears, so that Monday I found myself in a candle lit, incense infused hall. My preconceived ideas that yoga was all hippies and yoghurt knitters was soon challenged when I met the lovely Jac, she is neither hippy or yoghurt knitter, just someone who oozes an infectious calm aura (if that makes sense, maybe oozes is the wrong word, or aura, but you get the idea). The candles and incense in themselves were soothing and Jac’s welcoming nature added to an atmosphere which suggested I would actually enjoy this “adventure”. God almighty when did I get so uptight that Yoga has become a huge deal? We started quietly, sitting cross legged and very soon were stretching our limbs to beyond our (or my, I can’t really speak for everyone else) perceived limits. I felt a euphoria which I don’t get when I am killing myself at an exercise class (probably because I feel like I am dying). Perhaps this was down to the fact that I didn’t feel like I was dying. Or maybe because my body was contorting in ways I never knew was possible for me. It was probably a good thing that there are no mirrors in that hall because I was in the zone where I truly believed that I looked like those yogis on Instagram, my body was lean and supple and my poses were deep and graceful. Hmmm, experience since that first encounter with Yoga suggests that I more than likely did not look anything like that. The end of the session when my body was in a small state of shock that I was actually sweating from some of the poses-who knew Yoga could make you sweat- we lay down in shavasana. I can honestly say that I have never felt so relaxed in my life, I floated out of that hall at the end of the class. At the time, I was finishing my thesis and my stress levels were pretty high so it was the perfect way to balance that time in my life.

Since then I have been going to yoga regularly, two to three times a week. Not only has it changed the shape of my body (kind of), it has also changed the way I think and react to things. Once upon a time in the not too distant past (probably about six months ago) I would have reacted to negative situations and people in a reactive way. Now, I can sit back and think things through without regretting my words or actions. And I no longer hold onto shit in my head, instead I acknowledge it and put it aside. Once upon a time I would let things eat away at me which never solved anything, it just made me miserable. Yoga has been the catalyst for this new, very grown up behaviour, it has helped me deal with other people’s behaviour too. I know that I have no control over how other people act or what they say about or to me. That is their business and not for me to be getting in a tizz about. I can honestly say that it has changed my life. Yes I sound like some middle aged flake going through a midlife crisis but hey it’s how it is and how I feel and after all, this blog is called the HONEST woman’s guide to growing up. I would like to think that this is a long term, rest of my life behaviour, and I guess time will tell. But at the moment it is how I am, and it all feels very balanced and I will live in the moment and enjoy it because who knows where life will take me.